Prologue – Crown of Ashes: Innocence

Crown of Ashes: Innocence – Néné was three years older than me, and as a big sister, her influence lasted throughout my adolescence, and well in adulthood. I looked up to her, spending all of my time within her world, even mimicking her every gesture, mannerisms and attitudes. She was the best mentor, in all honesty, but she also had a side that, when seen, left the world around her astounded. 

She hid it well most of the time: behind her gloved hand, a waving fan, or her turned expression. Her head was usually turned toward me, as if to include me in her darker thoughts. She made me feel as if I were on the inside of her mind, waiting for the next entertaining antic to be unleashed through her careful thought processes and planning. 

Of course, I was under five years old, and I did not realize that there was something amiss, frowned upon, or not acceptable in her behavior. When Mother was approached about the deepest, darkest places in Néné’s mind, and the action it created, Mother would let go of her help and replace them in an instant.

The service learned long ago not to judge Mother’s children, and if they did, they were soon shown the door, trunk in hand, with a carriage waiting in the courtyard to take them elsewhere. Mother would send them into the wilderness with a graceful smile and a wave. 

Whispers behind closed doors, around the crevices of wall corners, began to circulate within the palace walls. It was as if Mother’s ears were ready, perked up, and just listening for the opportunity to eject another. She was very set in her ways when it came to gossip and didn’t support a single minute of it. 

I will admit, I enjoyed Néné’s antics, and that every dramatic episode took away the boredom of palace life. The secrecy changed it into a drama driven escapade, one that only Néné and I knew about. Néné kept us both entertained, and I simply waited for her blend of creative, even cunning ideas, to surface from the depths of her dark imagination. A plan would be hatched, in secret of course, about how we could bring those darker pranks and insidious antics to fruition, where, once surfaced, changed people’s lives, and usually not for the better. 

Of course, Mother was available to put it all back together again, to make everyone happy within the situation, and to right any perceived wrongs. Her gentle nature had a healing force behind it, one that could remedy any situation. Néné counted on Mother’s participation, as if it were part of her darker plans. There would be no end to my sister’s antics, and honestly, I didn’t want her crown of ashes to end.